Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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