I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
