what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
