It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
