So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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