He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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