I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
