i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
