Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
