Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize