Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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