My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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