He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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