We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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