bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
