i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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