After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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