doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
