so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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