Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
