I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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