You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
