why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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