Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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