just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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