what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
