Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
