walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
