Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
