I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
