I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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