Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
