Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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