Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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