we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
