We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
