Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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