Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
