We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
