i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
