i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
