redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
