I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
