I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
