My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
FUCK WHALES
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