Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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