He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The Olympian is in my bed
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