absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
