You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
