omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
