I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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